I was sitting in Wednesday evening prayer meeting this week while R was in her youth meeting. Ashamed to say that this was the first Wednesday evening prayer at this church I had attended and it has been our church for 4 years. I spend most of my spare thought time in fear and dread over the next way a certain ex-entity in our life (more specifically my husband's life) is going to play with us. There is has been so much turmoil and deliberate hurtful mess stirred by this person in the past 6 years that I have come to constantly wonder when the next shoe will drop. When she is messing with my husband, I wonder how it will end and how far she will go to hurt him/us. When she is distracted and hurting someone else, I still don't have peace because I wonder when she will start again.
God convicted/is convicting me of something. I sat there Wednesday and it is as if He said "Because you are constantly afraid of what she will do, you are saying that you think she is more powerful than ME and that I cannot protect you and your family. You have to trust me and if you trust me, she can't hurt you in any eternal way". OUCH! The Lord really nailed me! The ways we have been hurt have been legitimate – there are skid marks in a Pizza Hut parking lot where she ran my husband down in front of the kids (among many other acts of anger, bitterness, and hatred), but God is still God and if we are faithful, He will meet our needs.
I can not worry about other things and how they affect me. I have to remember that God even clothed the lilies of the field. He will certainly be faithful unto me!