To any teenager who may choose to read this post. I am not necessarily implying that there is anything wrong with 13. My beautiful R is thirteen and when I am with her I frequently become a giggling, loud girlfriend for a moment losing my stepmother status.
Tonight was our weekly American Idol fest – I shall come back to that in a moment.
I have been entirely absorbed by the news story of Barbaro (sp?) the horse who won the Kentucky Derby. I was not a teenager obsessed with horses – never had the magazines or posters on the wall or little figurines lining my shelf. But I have been consumed since Barbaro broke his leg at the Preakness. I shed tears over his 50/50 odds – I guess in the disbelief that these beautiful creatures are so fragile and even with all of today's super medical discoveries and breakthroughs, we still are not far past the days where putting down a horse that had broken its leg was a given. The tide could turn at any time even though for now he is improving.
The embarrassment is that I can get so lost in a tragedy that does not impact me and can remain numb to the everyday trials and tribulations some of my students face – lack of food, crowded homes, incarcerated parents, no Santa Claus. Oh, I can get saddened by it, and am frequently concerned – but the extent to which I am torn up over a horse – well, I feel a bit of shame.
The same goes for American Idol. Tonight I could not watch Katherine (sorry to all you McPhee fans) – I had trouble listening to the judges' comments and doubt seriously I will watch the finale tomorrow because of the stress it makes me feel. I am for Taylor all the way and just gave up trying to get through in voting for now. I cried when Elliott Yamin was voted off last week and when they show the video montage of each eliminated contestant with Daniel Powter's "Had a Bad Day" playing in the background…well, needless to say, I get misty.
I reaize this is some form of denial. I have blogs on my blogroll that I visit regularly that are so deep and concern themselves with important spiritual issues – I read them and strive to deepen myself. I feel so superficial when these wonderful bloggers choose to visit me and see what I have to say.
I am not so sure this avoidance of the real pain, injustice, and suffering in the world does my heavenly Father proud. I will continue to press on and hope that the ills of this world will pain me as much as media.