Food can be such an emotional thing for me. It brings back memories of happy times – mom’s chocolate chip cookies, cinnamon rolls, and hershey bar pie. My grandmother’s watermelon rind pickles and southern style green beans, not to mention her bread and butter pickles and homemade preserves. Then there was my grandmommie and her chicken salad, ham salad, ribbon sandwiches, cucumber sandwiches and pimiento cheese. She went to the Fanny Farmer school of cooking in Connecticut in the 20s where she met my grandfather and even made homemade fudges, divinities, and exposed me to my one and only taffy pull. She got a gleam in her eye when she spoke of cooking and that gleam was accompanied with the philosophy that cooking must be done right and well. She also got a gleam in her eye when a fine meal was placed before her and I inherited that gleam!
I grew up in a world of fantastic cooks. My dad was the meat man – Sunday pot roasts and burgers on the grill.
I was born on the larger end of the norms, was a chubby kid and have since become a chubbier grownup – I last wore a bikini,red, white, and blue in 1976. I have gained and lost along the way. Food has become a staple reaction during sad times, mad times, festive and boring times.
Weight Watchers has been my system of choice and I have been successful to an extent four different times.
I always hit a wall at 180 though. Just can’t get past it. It has been 12 years since I have seen the 160s and I realize even that is high.
It is a source of frustration for me – the number of times I have tried and failed.No excuses.
This past Saturday – I guess it has only been two days – I decided I must go for it, PERIOD!!
It is a struggle – for those of you who don’t know this battle, you are probably just scratching your head saying “what’s the big deal?”
I really can’t articulate it in a way to help you understand. I have made it through 2 fulls days, utilizing my tried and true weight watchers.
I really can’t look too far past today because in a huge way, this is forever – I will always have to be mindful.
I look at my mom and realize this – she struggled with her weight her entire life and at the age of 66 decided enough was enough – she went from a number in the mid 200s to a number in the mid 100s and has kept it there for 3 years. She still says she struggles. She still wants to let loose from time to time but she has decided she rather be healthy and thin.
I am so proud of her – I don’t want to wait until I am 66 though. It is a faith thing – Mom says God had the grace to give her the strength and success and she owes all glory and honor to him. I praise God for giving my mom greater health and vitality.
I sat in church yesterday thinking about food and praying that God would give me strength for the day (wondering if I was strong enough this time). Experience has taught me that as I stay on program (OP in weight watchers world), the hard days will get fewer and the easy days will become greater. There will still be hard days.
I guess I am putting all this out there for accountability – again, I know day 3 is nothing, but many failed attempts have not seen sundown on the same day.
I can do this – not because of me – but because my body is God’s temple and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength – can anyone remind me of the book and verse number of that verse?