A New Beginning – again…

Starting from square one with anything is never easy. I find this especially true if I have accomplished something previously like a weight loss or an immaculate house and have lost all the ground I had originally gained.

I walked into a Weight Watchers meeting for the first time since 2002 last night. In the meantime, I have had several successes on the plan but as explained in a previous post, I bailed on it and myself. I got overcome by emotion as I started to fill in the registration form – I guess these watery eyes were a result of 4 failed attempts to reach goal and the fear that I still might not have what it takes. Living in a rural area, things rarely change or at least change quickly, so I was greeted by a couple of staff member who asked me hadn’t I been there before. Again, a little mist formed in the eyes. A lot of water had passed under the bridge in those years – a lot of memories, happy like R coming to live with us, my parents’ 50th

anniversary and a self indulgent trip to Maui, sad like infertility and my mother-in-law’s death. As for many of you, the road while adventurous has been tiresome and it takes a lot to psych myself up for this again.

I decided to go for it, committing myself to 10 weeks, 10 meetings and throwing in a couple of books to boot. Parting with money when it comes to something for myself is very difficult and leaves me feeling uneasy. I seldom buy new clothes, or anything for the house. So spending money for me when it could represent a huge test took some strength. After a few deep breaths, I jumped off the cliff.

The meeting was about this being a journey. Great meeting for me to start with – I came away with the fact that I must take one day at a time on this plan and still enjoy the world around me, not wishing away my life and time until I make it or don’t make it to goal.

Goal is a mighty far way away.

I have made it through 4 and one half days successfully. Yay!

I have a fitness goal on the horizon – a 105 mile bike ride a couple of months from now. There will be more to come on that.

Peace

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About Ellen

I cannot even begin to describe who I am other than broken in body and soul with a dose of the only Hope there is. If you read me, you will know me.
This entry was posted in Blogroll, home, life, psychology, weightloss. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A New Beginning – again…

  1. hockamama says:

    105 miles, WOW! Good luck. 4 1/2 days is great! Congrats on taking the cliff by the edge, and laying out some money for yourself. It’s hard, but you deserve it!

    Lots o’ love

  2. noelle says:

    Thanks Ellen for your comment on my blog!!! I love it when people find me and are able to see the kids in pictures. I have a ton of pictures posted this summer on there so feel free to take a look around!!!

    As far as your adventure with weight watchers.. I know to well what you’re talking about… I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t hound myself about it anymore… This is me, chubby and happy… I’m very much an emotional eater and it’s goign to take more than a few meetings to figure out why and how to control it…. besides – it’s like a life long journey with my savior.. there will be ups and downs and when we’re in the downs, we pick ourselves up and start over again…. Good luck!!

    Looking forward to hearing about your 105 mile road trip!!!

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