Starting from square one with anything is never easy. I find this especially true if I have accomplished something previously like a weight loss or an immaculate house and have lost all the ground I had originally gained.
I walked into a Weight Watchers meeting for the first time since 2002 last night. In the meantime, I have had several successes on the plan but as explained in a previous post, I bailed on it and myself. I got overcome by emotion as I started to fill in the registration form – I guess these watery eyes were a result of 4 failed attempts to reach goal and the fear that I still might not have what it takes. Living in a rural area, things rarely change or at least change quickly, so I was greeted by a couple of staff member who asked me hadn’t I been there before. Again, a little mist formed in the eyes. A lot of water had passed under the bridge in those years – a lot of memories, happy like R coming to live with us, my parents’ 50th
anniversary and a self indulgent trip to Maui, sad like infertility and my mother-in-law’s death. As for many of you, the road while adventurous has been tiresome and it takes a lot to psych myself up for this again.
I decided to go for it, committing myself to 10 weeks, 10 meetings and throwing in a couple of books to boot. Parting with money when it comes to something for myself is very difficult and leaves me feeling uneasy. I seldom buy new clothes, or anything for the house. So spending money for me when it could represent a huge test took some strength. After a few deep breaths, I jumped off the cliff.
The meeting was about this being a journey. Great meeting for me to start with – I came away with the fact that I must take one day at a time on this plan and still enjoy the world around me, not wishing away my life and time until I make it or don’t make it to goal.
Goal is a mighty far way away.
I have made it through 4 and one half days successfully. Yay!
I have a fitness goal on the horizon – a 105 mile bike ride a couple of months from now. There will be more to come on that.