Hershey Bar Pie

One of my favorite childhood desserts was a recipe made only for special occasions by my mom. She would always make 2 of these desserts one with almonds and one without. I would love to share this easy and delicious recipe with you.

Hershey Bar Pie

1 8oz container of cool whip

2 large Hershey bars (1 large used to do it, but they have shrunk through the years)

1 graham cracker crust (oreo is okay too for more chocolatey goodness)

In a double boiler, melt 1 and 1/3 large hershey bars.

remove from heat and fold in 2/3 container of cool whip.

pour in crust


after set, “ice” with the remaining cool whip and garnish with shavings from the unused candy bar. You could get fancy and put a dollop of cool whip on each slice and a square from the remaining chocolate.

This is always a huge hit and especially tasty in the summer time.

Thanks mom!!


Posted in baking, Blogroll, chocolate, cooking, dessert, family, home, recipe | Leave a comment

No Dead Sticks

My husband has a friend who owns several web domains. They are primarily for travel and tourism. Recently a dialogue was opened about us writing little travelogues about our area and taking photos to be posted on these sites.  In an exchange today he said “no dead sticks” and went on to request that photography wait until the world greens up a little. As he put it “dead sticks for trees and brown for grass is not the most appealing”.

 I got to thinking about how I have been a dead stick at least externally going on close to 7 years. I think we all have our phases where we are fallow and while life may be coursing along under the surface, all outward appearances would reveal no evidence of life in us. It has been quite cyclical for me – the less I feel I have to offer, the less I feel I have to offer.

Through a process of tremendous pruning lately, I believe I actually may start to bloom this season. As to what this will look like, only time will tell – but dead sticks are not very appealing in the kingdom and while removing what is not useful is uncomfortable and at times painful – it is necessary for bearing fruit. I so much want to finally bear fruit.


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Facing The Giants in life and the movie

This past fall, my church hosted a community outreach night where we held a showing of the film Facing the Giants. Many children and grownups attended and I came out as well. I had heard that it was about a football team defying major odds. Little did I know there was also another underlying theme in the film that I was not aware of or mentally prepared for – infertility. Much of the night was spent dabbing my eyes with an incredible ache rising from the depths of my soul.

I have wanted to be a mommy forever it seems. Many broken roads have led me to this place where I am coming to grips with the fact that I will probably never conceive or give birth. Detours and straying from God’s will brought me into a new marriage at the age of 30 to a man who had “completed” his family prior to the unforseen dissolution of it. He and I spent the first 3 or 4 years enduring procedures – he a major one and I many tests – many ups and many downs – hopes raised then dashed. Doors were cracked but not slammed shut and early on an irregular cycle and many hundreds of dollars spent on HPTs looking for that second blue line in desperation left me emotionally spent, deeply hurt, and feeling like God had forgotten me. We are on the blessed road to adoption right now – it being filled with its own set of twists and turns and there is great peace and joy in my heart knowing that  I may indeed realize my dream of motherhood. But it, too, is filled with moments of uncertainty like will our country of choice close its doors to international adoption.

While on this alternate road to motherhood, the pain of infertility still endures at times – though it is more a dull ache. It is a death of sorts. God designed my body to conceive, bear a child and provide nourishment but my body just does not want to cooperate. I have found myself sitting in rooms full of people looking for anyone who has not had a child, analyzing that each one in the room IS someone’s child, but that I am not part of that world. There are other shades and nuances in my story which belong to someone else – but sometimes I wonder why certain people have been given children, the blessing from God, and why I was overlooked. One thing I have learned in the field of special ed is that fair does not always mean equal. We serve a just and loving God but He does not entrust each one of us with the same exact journey. I miss my child – I miss the dream of my baby – I miss rocking him and feeding him and singing him lullabies and he never existed.

Infertility is one of the Giants I have had to face in my life. One of the giants I continually have to throw stones at so it does not obstruct the view of my savior. Infertility left me feeling deemed unworthy by God to be a mom and if I am unworthy to be a mom then  I must just be unworthy. I hid from God because I knew He couldn’t possibly love me. Of all the Giants in my life, infertility has been the one leaving me feeling isolated and unwanted by God – like not being picked for a team.

At a critical point in the movie, it is asked “If the Lord never gives us children will you still love Him?” What a scary and difficult question – it shouldn’t be but I spent some time on that one.

I will still love Him if there is no 11th hour pardon to my infertility.

I will still love Him if a glitch happens in the adoption process and I cannot bring home my baby.

I will still love Him if R who is much like a daughter to me, walks away from me and doesn’t look back.

He has shown His grace, His mercy and His love to me.

He has been so patient with my tantrums and pains.

I will still love Him and praise him.


Posted in Blogroll, church, faith, family, home, infertility | 7 Comments

The Moment of Truth

You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. John 8:32

I am the way, the truth, and the life.  John 14:6

and then in a search for the word truth in the Bible, I met with page after page of references where Jesus began his sentences with “I tell you the truth” – NIV.

Tonight is the premiere of a new game show on Fox called “The Moment of Truth“. The promos are very unsettling to me. Contestants have been given a polygraph prior to the show. They are then called upon to answer 21 questions in front of family, friends and coworkers. If they make it through the 21 questions, they get to take home a prize of $500,000. But at what cost? These questions aren’t things like “do you like pizza?”. They are more akin to “Do you think your marriage will last another 5 years?” The producers say they are not out to destroy anyone but think the show will “rock america”. An air of sadness washes over me as I have seen the commercials. It truly leaves me asking “What IS this world coming to?”

Jesus spoke truth to teach and build – this truth on the show leads down a slippery slope of destruction of mind, soul and spirit. I want my stepchild to know evil is in the world, but I don’t want her to become numb to the concept of cheating on spouses, internet porn, lying or cheating to get ahead. I don’t want to be subject to those thoughts either. It is time to say no to these outside influences. It is time for me to take a stand for my family and say enough is enough. I support the entertainment industry way too much. I own the movies, have seen the shows, have listened to the music. It weakens my relationship with God as I choose to continue to pollute a temple for our pure and holy Jesus Christ. How do I resolve or justify worshipping the Lord with the same lips that talk about violent television shows or that sing along to codependent amoral lyrics? Am I weakening the kingdom by not being the best warrior for Jesus that i can be.

There is definitely a Moment of Truth today. To decide whether to stand with the world or to stand with my Lord. In an odd sort of way I am thankful that this show has reared its ugly head. The line has been crossed the line has been drawn and I think I have finally found my voice.

Truth – what is truth – I love the lyrics of the Casting Crowns song –

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they’d have had the strength to stand

But the giant’s calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
“Boy you’ll never win,
you’ll never win.”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says “do not be afraid!”
and the voice of truth says “this is for my glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

This is the truth I am interested in.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8


Posted in Blogroll, church, faith, family, home, media, television, TV | 12 Comments

It’s January 16th…do you know where YOUR resolutions are?

We are a little over two weeks into the new year and Christmas seems like eons ago. I am a weight watcher – lower case and capital. I count points. For those of you unfamiliar with the program. It is simple, it works, and one track of it is based on points values assigned to all foods. These points are derived from a complicated “secret” formula which somehow relates the fat grams, fiber grams and calories of any given food. The higher the fiber and lower the fat, the less points any given food item will have. Beans – good, chocolate bars – not so much. BUT you can still have the chocolate bar. It will just take a larger chunk out of your daily points.

I have been doing Weight Watchers since August 1, 2006 this time around. I was on fire for the first 11 months. I lost 60 pounds during that time. I busted my knee this summer in a massive way, stopped exercising and had a major pity party which lasted until 12/31. I would take 1 step forward, 2 back – 2 forward, 1 back. Then in November in December I became the most apathetic person I know, shoving food in  until it hurt.

I gained 12 pounds for a total of 17 gained back. I knew I had to do something. Somewhere around the time that I really started feeling and owning God’s love and mercy for me, I realized something I had given lip service to so readily when the going was easy. This is a journey. Weight loss is a journey of one good habit built upon another. There is no finish line, no end, no TA DA moment. This journey is parallel to most of life’s journey. We walk, we run, we fall, we get up……or we don’t. So much of my life has been about falling down and curling up in fetal position, crying for my mama. I had to grow up. It is part of a perfectionist streak I have in me. If it can’t be perfect, why do it?

I am learning so much and this is where it is difficult to articulate my feelings. I will never be perfect. Never the perfect wife, daughter, cook, SLP, friend. This doesn’t mean to fall down and give up. God wants us to strive toward righteousness – in spite of our flaws, not because of our greatness. When I think about the fact that God can love a world full of such flawed people – to the degree when He would send His perfect, precious only son to try to save us and then to die for us I am overcome.

As for resolutions – my weight loss journey is back on track now. I am down 6 pounds. I will fall again. I will fall in my marriage. I will fall with R. I will fall. But an ancient proverb says “fall seven times, get up eight”. I will keep striving to allow God to change me into the person he wants me to be and not be content where I am for the fact that I cannot come close to perfection “so why bother?”

It is not in the number of pounds that we lose, the cessation bad habits, or the freshly made bed every morning that we succeed in our resolutions….

wordnet.princeton.edu defines resolute as firm in purpose or belief; characterized by firmness and determination;

It is all about the purpose and determination – resolutions are about the striving not the flawlessness.

I challenge everyone to be resolute today about that which is important to you.


Posted in Blogroll, church, faith, life, losing weight, obesity, weight, weight loss, weight watchers, weightloss | 6 Comments

The Mean Reds

  • “Listen…you know those days when you get the mean reds?” –Holly.
    “The mean reds? You mean like the blues?” –Fred (Paul).
    “No… the blues are because you’re getting fat or because it’s been raining too long. You’re just sad, that’s all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?” –Holly.
    “Sure.” –Fred (Paul).
    “When I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump into a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away.” –Holly.
  • One of my favorite movies of all time is Breakfast at Tiffany’s. There is something about the naivete and loneliness that Audrey Hepburn’s character exhibits that hits to my very core. It isn’t that I have wild cocktail parties in my house or smoke using a long cigarette holder. I see that wide eyed look and want to embrace Holly Golightly. If you haven’t seen the movie, perhaps I would suggest a viewing. On the other hand, it wasn’t something my husband enjoyed.

    Holly speaks of the mean reds. This concept has intrigued me and from time to times rears its head in my world. My mean reds usually occur at beginnings – the beginning of a new age for me on my birthday, the beginning of a new school year, the beginning of a new year and the beginning of the summer. I posted a comment on another blog about how I dislike surprises and change. I am afraid this is true.

    Surprises require the relinquishment of control. The trust that something good or different can come without your input. I never have done quite well with that. But as I have had some major spiritual aha moments in the past month, I realize I have to be open to the surprises God has in store and not resist them or hide from them.

    Change is not as negative of a concept because I tend to have input in change. I hope as I come to know God better, I will experience change in who I am and how I treat others.

    I know all about mean reds. Today is one of those days as the weather gets cooler and the clouds start to gather. It is January. The Christmas decorations have been put away and I am in the middle of gathering paperwork for our dossier. In spite of this, I know this too shall pass and without Holly Golightly’s solution of walking through Tiffany’s and leaving with a robin’s egg blue box or bag. I need to seek solace in God and my lean on my family.


    Posted in Blogroll, faith, family, life | 2 Comments

    So I got a sewing machine for Christmas

    I have always wanted one. I find them quite scary and way over my head, but oh to be able to sew some very personalized things for my home and my loved ones!

    My first project was a pair of drawstring pajama pants – they had pockets but I skipped the pockets. This was an absolute first and I didn’t want to have pocket issues. They turned out okay – they are a little snug thanks to Christmas goodies, but I look forward to shrinking into them. They are red, black and white – a whimsical pattern with coffee cups on the fabric. I have enough fabric left over to maybe make a drawstring bag or a hair scrunchy.

    I am not as frightened by my machine anymore and hope to find some easy toddler patterns or blanket patterns for my long wait in our adoption.


    Posted in Blogroll, home, life, sewing | 5 Comments