57 days until 40…or wow! 3 days in a row

I miss blogging and while I am glad to be back, I am finding it difficult to get into the groove of saying anything that even I find meaningful. I am on day 4 of the utter realization that my time in the 30s is waning. I decided I might try something a little different. I am going to explore several passages in the bible with my birthday chapter and verse.

NIV Genesis 7:20 -The waters rose and covered the mountains to a depth of more than twenty feet.

So we are talking about Noah and the ark and the destruction of the people on earth because of their sins. The next two verses speak of everything – every animal, everything that had breath dying. God warned His people. I wonder how often He has warned me. All inhabitants with the exception of Noah and his family had turned away from God. There have been times in my life where I have turned away from God. Genesis 7:20 shows me the power and absolute magnitude of God. He knows the hairs on our head and loves us all, but has the power and authority to discipline us. Can you imagine waters covering the mountains? That image is pretty intense. My thoughts are pretty incohesive – I will try again tomorrow.

 

Peace

58 days til 40

Day 3 of cutting back. Today was an uneventful. I am going to have a nice bubble bath and I added physical exercise to the mix. I only burned 100 calories and walked one mile before my shoes tore open my heel. I have funky feet and my achilles area has to build up a callous. My goal is to start couch to 5k this week. I believe I mentioned that yesterday. I changed my radio station to 88.3 because I believe garbage in, garbage out. 88.3 is our local Christian radio station. Scale was up today but I am going to be more healthy – I just am.

Peace

59 days until 40

As I watch all my friends one by one hit 40, I see them ring it in in a variety of ways. One started the month with a trip to the Caribbean and ended it with a 70s skate party. Many things have occurred in my 30s. Some of which I am quite proud. Others I would like a do over. I left my 20s newly divorced but with a man who loved me and wined and dined me the night I reluctantly bid by 20s adieu. I have shared this entire decade with him and I love him. I have lost and gained many pounds, have worked for 3 school systems, have dealt with the passing of my dog who shared my entire “real world” adulthood until April of this year and have become a mom. At this point, I can say that I am not where I want to be so I have decided to borrow someone’s 40 days til 40 approach and start 60 days until 40. We are knee deep in the paperwork for the adoption of our second child, I have put on 50 pounds since 2006, and I am not where I need to be in my walk with God. I have become quite the internet addict – more specifically facebook and all of its mindless games. So yesterday – 60 days out I decided enough is enough. I started with the most bothersome thing – lack of self control. I ate within a decent calorie range yesterday and have repeated the pattern today. Today, the sermon and my Sunday School lesson spoke to me and my spiritual health is to follow. In the follow 58 days I would like to maintain a healthy eating plan, complete couch to 5k, walk more closely with the Lord and purge my life of a lot of extraneous things – material and otherwise.

Peace

Weightloss Tag

25 things about my weightloss journey

Five things that make me stay on plan

1. A closet full of clothes that don’t fit.

2. Writing down everything I eat.

3. The exhilaration from rejecting something in the name of the plan.

4.  Exercise – I don’t want to undo what I have done in the gym.

5.  The desire to be healthy and look better.

Five things that make me go off plan

1. Stress

2. Extreme hunger

3. Boredom

4. Hormones

5. Peer pressure

Five things I want to achieve during my weight loss journey

1. A normal range BMI

2. Running a 5k

3. A toner body

4. A smaller size

5. A healthier diet

Five things I want to do when I hit my goal weight

1. New clothes

2. A photo session

3. A focus on maintenance and how easily all of this can be lost to resuming bad habits

4. Maybe another tattoo

5. A piece of jewelry

Five people who keep you motivated (and why)

1. My mom who lost 101 6 years ago and has kept 70 of it off and is losing the remainder again

2. My husband who loves me and support the process through cooking and activity

3. My oldest brother who lost on WW and has kept it off

4. My sister-in-law who has done the same

5. My dad who writes down every last morsel he eats at the age of 80 even though weight loss has been slow.

 

Peace

Full Circle

This past Saturday, Dave and I went to a fundraiser put on by a neighboring county’s arts council. They do this annually. It is called Pasta and Pottery and with the price of admission, you get a piece of pottery, appetizers, a pasta dinner and an auction. We have always wanted to go. Scratch that. I have always wanted to go. It has never worked out before. Dave in his kindness and generosity squeezed it in for me this year. I say squeezed because he was out of town Friday into Saturday and awoke at 3:ooam this morning to go to his photography convention. To add to it, he slid off the road on the way home from his trip yesterday and while his car was fine and drivable (just stuck) and he was fine, he could have requested a scrapping of the evening. I offered. The evening was okay. I thought this was my speed but not so much. Our pottery pieces were beautiful, the dinner was delicious and the items being auctioned were lovely but it was packed and we knew no one and I suppose small talk social gatherings just aren’t my thing. Dave and I split off for a bit and when I found him, he was squatting down next to the evening’s entertainment chatting.

Flash back 9 years. Dave and I found eachother online, but quickly moved to “in real life” dating. Our first date was perfect from beginning to end. Hollywood could not have written a better day. He took me canoeing. He packed a wonderful picnic lunch with all of my favorites – strawberries, shrimp, salad, and his roasted pork. We leisurely paddled for a few hours and landed in the heart of a quaint riverside town near us. I thought the day was over. It would have been perfect as it was. But he had made a thermos of mocha lattes and pulled them out of his vehicle and we drank them and ate more strawberries in a park next to the river. The next thing that happened is almost movie like. A gentleman on a bicycle rode up and sat on a bench near us and yet across the park. Out of the blue, he pulled out a flute and started playing songs like Always and Forever and Color My World. We saw him in the park one other time. We often wondered about him. We asked around in town about the gentleman on the bike with the flute. We lost him. We wanted to hire him for our wedding but no luck. That perfect day laid the foundation for our beautiful friendship.

Last night at the fundraiser, there was a flute player – our flute player. We know his name. We told him our story.

He was at the beginning of the first chapter of our life together and it has come full circle as we embark on the next chapter.

Peace

I miss my blog

It has been an eternity since I have posted here. Even the format of wordpress has changed. Reading my words is sort of strange.  I am not sure why I left this friend behind. I would like to reconnect and I might. I blog in another spot about the adoption process I am in the midst of. I find myself being slightly less transparent and I am not sure why. Not sure what people do when they walk away from their blog and then come back. Do I catch up with what has been going on? Do I pretend like I never left? Can one ever really go home? Like everyone’s journey, the past year has been a series of ups and downs.  Serious, superficial, good, bad, weak, strong.  I won’t try to retell the past year – it may come up in posts.

For now we wait. We wait for our child who we have never seen who is on his own painful journey across the world. We have been waiting 30 weeks for a face and a name and a story all while continuing our own story. Unless God tells us otherwise, our baby is in Ethiopia.  In the next week or month or two we will get a call – a call that changes our lives and the lives of people far far away. It is pretty intense. We have spent much time in preparation – reading, taking video seminars, absorbing all we can from our community on attachment and transracial adoption, on nurturing and parenting.

That is where I am right now and yet that is not the only place I am right now. But I stand here with my toe in the water – hoping to grow and nurture this place that is very special to me again.

Peace

Hibernation

I have been MIA. Incubating, hibernating- just being. Winter has kind of thrown me into a contemplative mode and while much of what I contemplated I share, as I got deeper I didn’t really want to peel away all of the layers that were unprocessed or at least underprocessed.

My wonderful husband painted our living room for me in its entirety Friday even removing molding and socket/outlet covers. This was a true act of love as he despises paint but the color makes me feel so warm and happy. I had a hunch it would.

I have begun participating in an evening women’s bible study called For Women Only written by Shaunti Feldhahn and have thrown myself bodily into it. The first week was on a man’s need for respect. It was truly an eye opening week and gave me insight into why I struggle at times in my marriage and why perhaps I am greatly responsible for the demise of my first marriage.  OUCH!

There has emerged within me a peace – truth be told, the peace that passes all understanding. Some major life shifters/shakers have washed over us lately and I am still standing with the peace and knowledge that regardless of anything – God will be with me. I even have started going back to Sunday school. We are studying a book by Jim Cymbala of the Brooklyn Tabernacle.

I guess I am still in awe about how long it took me to find God again especially when He has been waiting here patiently for several years. He has held me and let me rest in Him for the past couple of months. What a blessing.

Peace

Eating Chicken Soup With Rice

Anyone recall that Carole King song? As a child of the 70s, I recall listening to it on the flip side of a 45 “show and tell” book/album – you know – the ones that would have the nice little explanatory intro at the beginning “when you hear the bell *ding* turn the page”. The other side of the story album was a tale of a little boy names Pierre who didn’t care – the whole story was about how he didn’t care. Loved it.

This is a totally random post today – I ate chicken soup with rice today at school trying hard to stay on my weight watchers program. I have had a lot of soup this week in an attempt to ward off the evil flu bug infesting my house. First R got it, then my husband started roasting in his sleep last night. Both down for the count. R is back in school today. I am the one who has not fallen yet. Dave and I are due to go to a marriage retreat this weekend and I know satan would love nothing more than for me to get the flu so we have to cancel. Ah well, I am praying it away and drinking plenty of fluids, using that alcohol based hand soap and soup – egg drop, wonton, chicken with rice ala Carole King.

I’ll take anything a la Carole King and I believe given the choice of the soup or the music I would pick her.

Peace

Happy Birthday

My husband had two family members who shared this date as their birthday. They were both incredible people that I am thankful I had the privilege of knowing.

His mother was a dynamic, strong woman whose life was a lesson. She grew up during the depression but lived a rich life. Though life was a challenge she successfully raised 5  sons and chose to follow her dream of becoming a nurse when she was close to 50 years old. What I take from her is acceptance, grace, and the knowledge that it is never too late to start over and pursue a dream. We lost her in the Fall of 2004.

On her 60th birthday, my mother-in-law became a grandmother to a talented and kind young  man. He was handsome and outgoing and never met a stranger. He was talented in the arts and was at home on the stage. His life was snuffed out one day shy of his 21st birthday in 2002. He is sorely missed by everyone in the family.

I was lucky enough to have spent time with both of them and their lives touched me, although I almost don’t feel justified in saying that I miss them because people in this world shared such a larger part of their world. I do miss them. I especially miss Dave’s mom.

Happy Birthday, Cathy and Matt.

Peace to you and….

Peace

Low Point Pineapple Angel Food Cake

This is a light and easy recipe. I believe I got it from my mom who got it from her Weight Watchers leader. 

1 can crushed pineapple in natural juices (not syrup)

1 box angel food cake mix

Mix dry cake mix with crushed pineapple (do NOT follow any of the directions for other ingredients on the angel food cake box)

Bake 25-30 minutes at 350.

Makes a 9×13 cake – 1/12 is 2pts (weight watchers speak) – for a fancier company ready dessert, ice with ff cool whip to add 1 pt per slice.

This is incredible, light and soooo summery tasting – it tastes good the next day having been chilled.